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7 Reasons Why Parents Turn Into Coffee Zombies

  • 8 min read

#4 We need to be reanimated.

With the words, ‘Where’s my coffee?!’ my husband stumbles out of bed first thing in the morning, sneaks out of the bedroom, and wanders into the kitchen. Since the birth of our son, he has turned into a coffee zombie, addicted to caffeine. He says parenting is a lot easier when holding a cup of really strong coffee in your hands. For him, becoming a father isn’t just about learning to change a poopy diaper, it’s also about making really strong coffee. Therefore, he has been perfecting his at-home coffee barista game all year: in the evening he pre-programs the coffee machine for the morning so that he can wake at about 6 a.m. to freshly-brewed coffee.

In an exclusive interview, my husband told me seven reasons why he turned into a coffee-addicted zombie in the first place. The reasons are truly understandable.

Must.Have.Coffee. — 7 reasons why parents turn into coffee zombies

1) We need a break

To be honest, as a father, I live in a permanent crunch time. I’m busy around the clock — if not physically, than mentally. My head is filled to the brim with a hundred thousand things. I have the constant feeling that the mountains of tasks are piling up and up, slowly forming themselves into Mount Everest. The mental load is just exhausting. If I take a sip of my freshly-brewed coffee in the morning, with no one around, just me standing at the window or sitting at the kitchen table, that’s me taking a break from all of my daily duties. You know, parenting is a lot easier when there’s no child around! The act of bringing my coffee to my lips is already relaxing for me. Moreover, during the daytime, when I’m angry at myself for losing my temper over our baby’s tantrums, I take a break by brewing my coffee. This helps me to be more mature and handle the situation better next time.

2) We need (self) love

All I need is… coffee. For me, it’s self-care. While performing all our daily duties, it’s also crucial to take care of ourselves. When the kitchen smells like coffee, for me, love is in the air too. When I brew my coffee, drink the first sip and the warm elixir fills me up, it’s like saying to myself: ‘I want you to be happy. You’re doing a great job — day and night. When no one else seems to think about you, here’s something to make your day better. I care about you and I love you.’

3) We want a little something to enjoy

Photo by jonas mohamadi from Pexels

I have the feeling that since becoming a dad, my only luxury is buying good coffee. That’s why I requested a coffee machine, a special mug and some illy coffee for my first birthday as a dad. I remember more experienced dads often chatting about their coffee or espresso machines, their beans and warm and cold coffee at work. In my pre-baby life, I didn’t understand why they were so obsessed with coffee. Whenever they could enjoy a warm coffee in the cafeteria at work they smiled as if they were in heaven. Now I can understand them and I’ve joined their ranks perfecting my at-home barista skills all year.

The experience of drinking a heavenly-quality coffee while it’s hot is THE experience. Oftentimes, I have to reheat my cup or I just forget about it. You know you’re a parent when you can’t finish your cup of coffee. In pre-pandemic times, I loved drinking iced coffee at Starbucks. Working from home allows me to make my own cold coffee.

Here’s the simple recipe: Have a baby. Make a coffee. Forget to drink it. Drink cold coffee. Enjoy!

4) We need to be reanimated

Coffee can be a real life-safer for half-awake parents. In the morning, I can count the number of hours I’ve slept on one hand. I wander and stumble around; the kitchen is my emergency room. If there were a caffeine infusion, I would hook myself up right there. I couldn’t imagine navigating our family life without caffeine. For instance, after a bad night’s sleep when the baby’s woken up several times and our ‘day’ actually begins at 4 a.m., I need coffee to reanimate my heart and get my pulse up.

Did you know that one cup of coffee contains 95mg of caffeine? You need 200 mg per day to boost memory. Sometimes I have the feeling, with all the baby’s tantrums, crying, tons of to-do-lists and tasks, there are only a few brain cells left. It’s good to get a memory boost. That’s why I drink at least 2 cups of coffee.

5) We need a huge caffeine-boost

Sleepless nights. Frustrations. Fights. Doubts. As a new father, I have so much responsibility even though I’m just a beginner. Nevertheless, I’m eternally in motion, exhausted and tired because of the past and all the months to come with interrupted sleep. I wish I was as tired as I thought I was before I had our son. Sometimes I feel as if I were part of an experiment with the quest of finding how much sleep-deprivation someone can withstand. That’s why I need the beverage so deeply. Seriously, I need a specific amount of caffeine and quantity of coffee to get the boost I need to battle through the crazy family-funk. Our baby has so much energy sometimes I think he siphons it out of us.

6) Parents have to put something in their bodies

Oftentimes I find myself eating nothing till lunch. Why? Sometimes because, in the morning, we haven’t had time to eat breakfast properly because we had a major diaper accident or our baby was having a tantrum. Then I’m too busy, having to take care of my child and then go (back) to work and take part in a Zoom meeting. Therefore, I have to put at least something into my emaciated body and dry mouth. Once there were thick muscles, now they’ve became cells filled with caffeine. Maybe there is already caffeine running through my veins? Who knows?

7) Children can’t have it

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

You know, we share everything with our children. The bed, the toilet… to name just a few. But there’s one thing children can’t have: coffee. So yes, we’re parents and Friday means nothing anymore, but on Saturday morning, we can have our cup of coffee — hot or cold! They can’t. That’s some kind of justice at least.

I would have liked to interview my husband further, but I am writing this text at 6 a.m. at the kitchen table. He has already taken several sips of coffee and is looking out of the window when my baby and I enter the kitchen.


While I was interviewing him, our baby was screaming and whining in his playpen. But the strong coffee helped my husband to concentrate. One day, he hopes, he will say to our baby boy: ‘Bring daddy a cup of coffee!’ and our little one will bring him his beloved beverage. He is waiting for that day. Just as he waits for nights when he can finally sleep through again.

Here’s to coffee — hot or cold.

Let’s get relational tags (thanks for your inspiration and the nice interation! Feel free to tag me in one of your upcoming articles. I’d love to read it🥰):

Courtney Burry Heather C Holmes Kristen Sears Cudd Juliano Righetto Yana Bostongirl Stacey B Ashley Sole Ann O' Connell Lindsay Brown Heather C Holmes Emma Hiatt Wilson Mindy Morgan Avitia

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