Originally, I didn’t want to share this story but I felt too strongly about this to not share.
Last week, a writer friend of mine told me about a story a female Top Writer has written.
She was sure that this author was referring to my Top 10 Writers On Medium story I had created with the community and shared a few hours ago.
In the article of the Top Writer, she stated that she wasn’t happy about me using “lagging behind”.
She felt offended by the choice of words.
She explained in her defensive and negative article why we shouldn’t rank people by their following.
Why she couldn’t write as much as she wanted — although I said in my story she’s a consistent writer. For me, consistent can mean weekly, daily, or monthly content.
This is what was going through my head when I read her story
- she hasn’t read my story thoroughly
- she didn’t get WHY I mentioned her (because many people were recommending her; but her following was too low to be one of the Top 10 in regard to the metric “following”) and that it was supposed as a compliments
- she felt offended
- she reminded me to read “Ego is The Enemy” again
- she was pretty fast writing that story (it was published only a few hours after my Top Writer story was published.)
Since I want to help others while living my own fullest life, I felt terrible.
This drama really wasn’t my intention.
I felt as if I were part of a comment thread on REDDIT.
For a few minutes, I even thought about stopping writing on Medium for a while.
This was my reaction to her words
I really cared.
I liked reading her stories from time to time.
I wanted to explain myself in more detail to solve the “issue” because I really hate online beef or drama.
So I left several private notes. In one of them, I said she’s a superstar.
Additionally, I changed the “wording” of my story.
Was “lagging behind” false?
I changed the wording, although I’ve consulted several native-speaking friends about this “issue” and they said “lagging behind” is totally fine, acceptable in a list, AND sounds professional.
It’s definitely not out of line.
Plus, it’s the truth.
This writer doesn’t have the following (right now) other writers have.
Her reaction to my personal notes
Fast forward to today, instead of replying to my nice and kind personal notes, she blocked me.
First, this really surprised me.
Then, it really helped me realize that this Top Writer had become a “time vampire” as bestselling author Dan S. Kennedy (Time Management for Entrepreneurs) would call her.
Someone who sucks up your time and energy and leaves you weak and debilitated.
Why did she become a “time vampire” for me?
When she blocked me, I realized that I had given this time vampire far too much attention.
- I mentioned her in my story as a compliment — cost me at least 15 minutes of my life.
- I replied to her story in private and left several nice notes — cost me at least 30 minutes of my life.
- She received more than 5K claps and 50 comments from her followers — because I really cared, I read several of them (some even from my followers) and spent around 15 minutes of my life with this.
Plus, I was thinking and worrying about what has happened, and talked with my hubby and other online entrepreneurs and writers about it.
Some people told me that as you grow, it’s inevitable you’ll encounter a few people like this.
It’s just part of doing business.
But there are many more writers on Medium.
Blocked by Sinem Guenel
My friend Patricia Rosa was blocked by Top Writer Sinem Guenel because she asked a question:
oh, I forgot I don’t follow herpatricialrosatr.medium.com
Blocked by Jessica Wildfire
Bebe Nicholson was blocked by Jessica Wildfire because she left several comments that Jessica apparently didn’t like:
In the comments, Liz Arakelian also stated she got blocked by Jessica.
As former journalist Bebe Nicholsen summarized in her story about Jessica Wildfire blocking her:
Maybe some people get stressed by writers with a different opinion, and feel they can only protect themselves from that stress by blocking the writer. Bebe Nicholson
Human behavior is a mystery. People are different.
You really don’t know what’s going through the minds of Medium writers — although they are sharing their messes and stories online.
However, as I tried to show you, I would always prefer to act compassionately and engage rather than block, though.
In real life, this is also the way I prefer.
However, I also think it’s crucial to live a healthy life and to walk away from toxic people.
So, to protect my mental health and passion for my side hustle, I blocked the author too. I don’t want this negative spirit and “time vampire” in my life.
PS: You can also block people internally — just stop reading their headlines and posts.
Kristina God is a 25x Top Writer on Medium. She’s a professional Marketing expert who studied journalism and online marketing.
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