This needs to be talked about.
Many parents I’m talking with have the desire for what used to be.
Especially in regard to their sex life.
As an elderly and wise friend used to say:
Things are just easier when we are having orgasms.
Well, as a parent hooking up isn’t like in the hot and heavy days anymore.
Here are the Top #3 Reasons why you’re not having sex with your spouse anymore:
- You’re initiating sex by saying: ‘exactly how tired are you?’
- Cartoons are playing loudly outside your door.
- You want to freshen up in the bathroom but then end up emptying the washing machine, putting the clothes in the dryer, and loading new clothes — by which time the other one has fallen asleep.
I can tell you, there are many more reasons:
Hooking up isn’t like in the hot and heavy days anymore. It’s different…medium.com
It feels strange to not be who you would like to be.
Due to these shocking reasosns why parents don’t have sex anymore…
there is definitely this desire for what used to be:
- Who you used to be as a couple.
- How you connected with your spouse.
- How much you wanted to be closed to you partner.
For most parents, intimacy used to be an important part of their relationships.
When too much time goes by, you can feel there’s more and more tension.
It’s an internal dilemma.
You get angry about so many things:
- You hate feeling too tired.
- As a new mom, you hate feeling touched out.
It’s all one more piece of not being your former self.
Of not being who you would like to be.
People tend to feel better after hooking up.
Sex is a mood booster — even if it only lasts a few seconds or minutes until your child wakes up again.
I think if you want to make it happen and re-connect with your husband this way the motto:
Keep it quick and dirty
…hits the proverbial nail on the head.
I know a lot of men who are pressuring their spouses.
Being in the thick of parenting, there are people who pressure their spouses with sentences such as:
I’m a man and I have needs!
So you feel you have to take care of your husband.
Your ‘wifely duty’ becomes one more to-do on the list.
There are women who even make a sex appointment with their spouses:
With children in the house, the path to orgasm is full of obstacles.
Oftentimes our deepest fantasy is just to be able to sleep.
Especially with regard to your own sexuality, it’s crucial that you can talk about your desires, needs, and expectations.
Sometimes, it’s about hooking up enough that both feel that they’re having their sexual needs met.
The alternative is you have this sexless, dry marriage that feels like a desert.
That’s why it’s so important to share at least some intimacy and have as much sex as needed that both feel satisfied.
PS: There is more to a deep relationship than sex. There are other loving acts on a physical level. e.g. kissing, cuddling, or holding hands.
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