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Watch What You Say to Become a Better Writer

  • 3 min read

The way we express ourselves has a major influence on our well-being and on how we come across to others.

As many writers are currently discussing “hate speech” on Substack, based on the comments of my trending story with thousands of views, I want to talk about the profound impact of words on our lives (as writers).

Just recently I read Matthew Budd’s book, “You Are What You Say.”

This book highlights the transformative influence of language on our health and well-being.

Here’s what Budd shares short and sweet:

The Language-Body Connection

Our words don’t just reflect our feelings, they actively shape our mental and physical state.

Negative self-talk can breed stress, anxiety, and even physical ailments, while positive language fosters resilience and a healthier mindset.

The same goes for writing and reading.

If you write and/or read negative things, this has a huge impact on your well-being.

Words Reflect Our Inner World

I loved reading Dr. Budd’s book because I also think our words mirror our inner beliefs.

That’s why I choose positive language to build self-esteem and confidence in my readers and myself.

Budd’s tip: consciously select your words to transform your reality.

The Power of Self-Affirmation

To become a better writer this is what I learned from Budd:

  • Practice self-affirmation daily.
  • Replace “I can’t” with “I am capable.”

These affirmations boost confidence and help overcome challenges so you can better serve your readers.

Applying “You Are What You Say”

“As a person, not just a writer, it is also your moral and ethical obligation to know when your words are not helping but hurting people (your readers)”, shared Archie Bee in the comments of my trending story.

To help and encourage people, this is what I do based on Budd’s book:


I notice my language and ask myself whether my words are positive or negative.

Do they align with my goals?

Positive affirmations

It helps me to create and repeat empowering statements that resonate with my aspirations.

Positive environment

Surround yourself with uplifting influences, recommends Budd.

Reminds me of high school and what my granddad told me to do :D But it’s really important.

I used to surround myself with energy vampires who drained me. Since I’m a mother I have to be strong for my kids and I always ask myself how people make me feel and if I want to spend time with them or not.


Same old, same old….but of course practicing meditation to observe and shape your inner dialogue can help, suggests Dr. Budd.

My tip as a busy mom, these meditations don’t have to take hours.

Micro meditations can help.

Breathe in and out consciously throughout the day (and maybe close your eyes for a few seconds) to focus on your true writer self.

The person and writer you are and want to be.

In summary

The book “You Are What You Say” reveals the deep connection between words and well-being, and being a writer myself, it mirrored many of my thoughts, so I started adapting Dr. Budd’s suggestions.

My overall tip: Choose your words wisely to live a fulfilling writer’s life.

Your language shapes your reality.

Tell me, do you know who you are and does your writing reflect that? What does your writing tell others about yourself?

If you want to learn more about my trending story, go here.

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